November is caregivers month and wow I have a caregiver — I am laughing hysterical at this because I am the caregiver the guru for everyone in my life — I am The Mother for so many people, the designated driver since birth, the surrogate for my brothers, the mom of my mom… well, you get the idea.
My whole life is about taking care of others — especially of my husband. He had some issues (to put it lightly) and I spent a lot of time doing the heavy lifting for um everything and tolerating his inactivity and his inability to meet me half way on life.
I never considered being married forever — I expected that eventually when the kids were older that I would dtmf because he was not with me with me…
Then I got cancer and damn if this man did not become the partner I always thought he could be — damn if he didn’t come to every appointment and every treatment and do more than I ever thought he could do to keep things “normal” at home during my surgery recovery, chemo and radiation and on and on as I go for follow-ups and shots and more he’s at every one — and looking to the new next thing, my ovary and fallopian tube removal in a few days, he’s ready to ramp back up again.
After my first chemo, he was sitting with me on the bed and I began to cry and say, “I am so upset!” And he was like, “OK, what’s wrong? Are you nauseous?” And I was like, “No, I’m so upset that I can’t divorce you now and it’s not because I have one boob it’s because you stepped up and you’re helping me so much and now I have to totally revision my future plan of being a single old lady living with cats and dogs!” He cracked up and said, “That is the most romantic thing you have ever said to me.”
Lately I have naturally fallen back into the do-it-all mode and he has naturally gone back to the laid-back not-involved mode but we are working on keeping him as a partner for more — and despite how much cancer sucks I am so damn lucky to have met and married this crazy man who loves me and supports me no matter what.
Another grateful day — it was a tie to have this be about my husband or my kids but without him, I would not have them…