Before we go any further, check out and consider how you can help them — this charitable organization is transformative for cancer survivors — more on that in a few.

That picture up there — and a whole lot more on my blog — are part of a transforming experience that I undertook just this week in New Jersey with a charitable organization called Beautiful Self. The two ladies who run this are a powerhouse. Michelle and Jillian were true angels — from when I walked in at 8:30am, I knew I was in for the time of my life.

A friend of mine had told me to sign up to take part in this and when I did I had been warned it would be a 6-8 month wait but something opened up and I was able to grab it and go this week instead of months from now. I am so lucky.

I had posted like twice on Instagram that I love the 1940s. Once in a story and once in a post. As soon as we got started on my hair and makeup, Jillian confided that I would be getting done up like a 1940’s pin up model / movie star and I almost burst into tears. Me, I am not a crier but I was about to be hysterical. It was pre-make up so it was okay to weep!

It might sound corny, but the only way I can explain my day on Tuesday, April 17, is to say that it introduced me to my pinup queen, dame, tough, fuck cancer persona.

I knew she was in there — I was writing about how tough I was before and about my golden girls and their tough love but here I was rocking it, smoldering before the cameras like this was my JOB. And who knows, after all of the confidence these pictures hit me with, I might push myself to become a cover girl. I half flat, slightly older, pouchy stomach with scoliosis and lots of body hair but LET’S GO! Anything is possible :). Consider this photo gallery my head shots and consider me your model for whatever — mastectomy clothes, underwear, bathing suits, fashion… (as you can tell, I am still on a high).

Something about the way I look in these pictures shows me who I really am. 

Beautiful Self

Something about those 3 pictures above captures my soul — something about who I am and what I am.

I know I am a survivor, a “fighter” — I also know I am lucky and hopeful that the conventional treatments PLUS clinical trial PLUS nutrition PLUS exercise PLUS weight loss PLUS “no stress” etc etc will keep working and keep me healthy.

I am a mom and a sharer at times, an oversharer. I walk around trying to think about others while also thinking about myself. More to come on how I want to do this on a larger scale for other people touched by cancer (hint it has something to do with my #careeraftercancer Work Readiness for Cancer Survivors initiative.

These photos, though, make me look like a freaking movie star. Hey, why not. “I am ready for my close-up, Mr DeMille…”

​This is what I do in the time between…