Day 5, May 31, 2017

There’s no better way to start your morning than to connect with a kindred soul who uplifts you and tells you just the right things you need to hear…that’s what I got this morning when I spoke to my boss who I also have the pleasure of being friends with…a rare work relationship and truly a blessing to have someone who not only encourages me but wants to genuinely see me grow and thrive. During our phone call, she mentioned that she had watched the movie The Shack this weekend, and I decided to watch it with Tim this morning while we waited for any news…

If you have never watched this movie, and plan to then I suggest you also be prepared to have multiple boxes of tissue and be ready to look all puffy eyed with snot pouring out of your nose like Tim and I did while we were watching this…

Mac’s wife, Nan, lovingly refers to God as “Papa” — such an intimate and pure term of endearment that encompasses how close her relationship with Him is. I’m not going to give any spoilers but YOU NEED TO SEE THIS MOVIE. My favorite quote:

“Just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn’t mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don’t ever assume that my using something means I caused it or that I need it to accomplish my purposes. That will only lead you to false notions about me. Grace doesn’t depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors.”
-Papa, The Shack

We were hoping to get the final biopsy results today but the closer that we got to 5 p.m., the more we realized that we weren’t going to get the answers today we were hoping for. Super bummed, but all the waiting did give us a chance to go outside and walk around the building for some fresh air today.Tim and I also decided to treat ourselves to Olive Garden…not exactly romantic — but we really aren’t the candle-light dinner kind of couple anyway…we put on our “stetchy pants” and carb-loaded on breadsticks, cheese sticks and pasta while we watched Aliens on my laptop…that’s us being “fancy”…

I’m guessing God’s giving us an extra day…the calm before the upcoming tornado that is going to be tomorrow because the final diagnosis will be in….meaning I’ll get transferred to the chemo floor and possibly have to start radiation therapy on Friday…and it’s going to be go time…

We received a visit from Ted, Joyce and Nathan who prayed over us.

Joyce gifted me with literally a ball of hope =) (Thank you Joyce!) and some delicious cookies that we decided to share with my awesome nurses who have been spoiling me!

We also had the pleasure of being FaceTimed in by my sweet Charise to join Impact’s Soak night…Kaiser has excellent wi-fi and we are so thankful for technology! We were able to connect live to receive prayer. Thank you Jesse and Sheila for stepping in for us (and thank you Sheila for doing our stinky dishes!). The Spirit was moving tonight and though we are miles apart, Tim and I felt the warmth of the Spirit wash over us as members of our church family extended their hands of prayer and asked for a complete healing, miracle and full restoration of my health. I’ve never had the experience of being the focus of prayer like that and it was truly amazing…

“Praise the Lord, my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Praise the Lord, my soul,

and forget not all his benefits—

who forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion,

who satisfies your desires with good things

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”

—Psalm 103: 1-5

I’ve received so many words of encouragement and verses and I never expected to get so much response to my blog posts…thank you so much for taking the time to walk this journey with me.I know many of you that I love dearly are saddened by what’s happening to us…some of you even angry…

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
—Joshua 1: 9

Don’t be angry or sad about this, friends! God’s working through this situation. I’m a fighter…a take no-crap, suck-it-up-buttercup attitude spit-fire in case you haven’t met me in person…I’m the daughter of the King who is not of this world, which technically makes me a freaking warrior princess…so don’t be angry or depressed…be excited with me that I’m going to fight this with everything that I’ve got because God is going to use this time for His good…and if that means that some days I’m going to feel crappy and my body is going to be weak for a little while but I come out at the end with a renewed mindset and a stronger relationship with Him…well then…

Bring it.

This post originally appeared on Breathing Again. It is republished with permission.