I continue to toggle between healing and hurting. While I stay determined to find pockets of joy, many times it doesn’t feel authentic or even appropriate. How can those of us in the Black community authentically feel joy when we’re barraged with hateful words and policies by certain people in power who don’t bother hiding their racism, corruption, and vile nature towards us.

Florida has always had a special place in my heart until this year. I spent my entire childhood, teen years, young adult, and early 30s going to see my grandparents in St. Augustine, FL, for almost every holiday, summer, and birthday, which I also shared with my grandfather – July 3rd. I could still drive there with my eyes closed! While I miss my grandparents, I am relieved they aren’t alive to see what that fascist governor is doing. My grandfather (grampsy) was haunted by what he experienced as a Black Buffalo Soldier and an educated Black man. He was literally a walking history book, so knowing what FL has become would’ve gutted and enraged him. Here’s a great article about him and his medals.

Remembering William Chase: ‘Bill’ Chase was proud to serve his country

“An Army veteran of World War II, he served in the AT CO 365th Infantry as a radio operator. He had the distinction of being a Buffalo Soldier, earning several medals. Mr. Chase was honored by the Jacksonville Buffalo Soldiers Motorcycle Club…” – snippet from obituary.

I made a super long video that I ultimately edited but still captures my thoughts from this afternoon at the park. I call it Megsie’s Musings at Morgan Falls Park. [You can watch the video on my Life on the Cancer Train blog.]

As I gear up for another work week and then off to Chicago for ASCO (like Vegas but for oncology), I know my pockets of joy will be authentic because I’ll see some of my closest friends in the cancer space. Who knows, maybe I’ll get discovered and get my own cancer talk show or something! It’s in those moments where I feel like I am enough.

Until next time,

Warrior Megsie

This post originally appeared May 29, 2023, on Life on The Cancer Train. It is republished with permission. Note: the oncology conference ASCO took place June 2 to 6 in Chicago. For Cancer Health coverage, click #ASCO 2023.