We made it, friends! It is 2018. Many of us are still actively fighting cancer, some of us are done with treatment, some of us are stage 0, stage 1-3, stage 4 but all of us are praying and hoping or wishing for a cure to this disease.
No matter our stage, diagnosis, age, life issues, we all are aware that our life is potentially in trouble or could be lost based on the state of our cells. It is tough to understand and even tougher to get straight answers from medical teams as the fact remains that no one knows. The future is not clear but TODAY is. We are cultivating a life of living in the moment—or at least trying to do it.
I try and fail on a daily basis to keep my thoughts in today, to let things flow off my back and off my mind to stay present in the RIGHT NOW and not the “what if” or “what can.” This is not easy for someone who used to be such a control freak, type A personality that everything was planned and then re-planned, everything said to me or about me was taken to heart or caused me to lose sleep or lose my sense of peace.
I have come a long way from this old me but I am still in need of improvement. I am doing all I can to stay as healthy as possible all the while knowing that the future is not promised to anyone. I am focused on doing everything I can to stay healthy while understanding that I have to only think of today. Thinking of tomorrow, a year from now, two years from now, etc., is not something I can do without fear. I do not think anyone who has / had cancer can think long-term without the constant “what if?” but I want to try to make it much less constant.
When I was filing my paperwork to be a non profit to help cancer patients get back to work, I was thinking about what would happen “what if” and it was making me crazy. I find when I am stressed or perturbed, these thoughts hit me more. When my kids look at me and ask, “Is the cancer gone? ” it hits me right in the gut. Of course, I tell them yes but the truth is we just do not know.
I want to manifest for myself this word peace—a life where I live in today and do not ruminate over yesterday nor think about tomorrow. I am focused on finding a job which means I am thinking of the future in terms of being an employee again but I think after all I have been through, I can do this day by day.
What do you do to help yourself live in the moment?