Scars are a funny thing really. They show trauma from a time in the past. They can be a badge of honour, a thing of pride or at times a point of shame.

What it always is though, is a physical remembrance of a time of pain. A time where you were hurt.

I have no physical scar from my cancer. Any damage that has been created is all internal.

My pain cannot be seen.

Does that mean that because it cannot be seen it does not exist?

To others, probably. To me, no. It is always there… hidden.

Just because it cannot be seen does not mean I am healed. My scars are very much still raw. I am still in pain. My hurt is real.

There are times where I do not live up to my blog.

This week I have not been happy and smiley.

So, I scrap this week off and start afresh. These days don’t happen often but they do still happen. I just don’t talk about them — unintentionally, I might add — I just become a bit of an introvert.

This post originally appeared on Happy Smiling Cancer Girl on September 28, 2018. It is republished with permission.